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DRAX

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1. So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.

2. He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.

3. Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to Gamora, do it now.

4. Ooor Drax can text Peter!

Why does someone have your backside as their phone background?

Apparently, and I'm quoting here, I have the finest ass they had ever seen this side of Betelgeuse.

So that was nice of them

I have not heard of Betelgeuse.

it's a star but that's not important

The takeaway here is that my ass. Is someone's background. On their phone.

They will make calls home to their mom and be like hey look it's Star-Lord's butt

That is a fine ass

Look at that

Wow

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HAHA omfg <3333

nostalgiabomb - 2014-10-01 21:05 (UTC) - Expand

consider yourself licked??? ........ yeah that sounded better in my head

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I WILL LICK YOU BACK

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THAT IS ACCEPTABLE

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I do not understand.

oh right

Okay a bear is a Terran predator. Big furry things with claws and crazy teeth and a great love for picnic baskets

You see what I'm getting at now?

Why would you let a predator near your nipples. That does not seem wise.

okay this was clearly a mistake.

He was not a bear in reality, because he was Krylorian, but LIKE a bear where teeth were involved and you know what nevermind about bears because my nipple is still bleeding

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Perhaps texting Rocket would have been the better course of action.

DRAX DON'T BE A SNITCH OK

Do not ever call me a snitch again.

[ what is a snitch anyway?? ]

Sorry bro

Look just bail me out and don't tell Gamora and I'll be your best friend for the rest of the foreseeable future

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Sorry you felt insulted last night. Let me rub your butt in remorse. Rocket told me this is a customary apology in your culture.

okay first off

no

Stop

Stop listening to Rocket

Why do you ever listen to Rocket

Rocket is a dickmunch

He tells me things.

What is a dickmunch?

Edited (I CAN SPELL THE WORD DICK REALLY) 2014-10-01 19:46 (UTC)

a dickmunch is what a Terran calls someone who is untrustworthy, on account of how if you put them near something sensitive, like a dick, they will BETRAY YOU and MUNCH on it

I AM SO SORRY

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love means never having to say you're sorry

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imma head to bed soon jsyk ;;

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Sleep well! This has been so fun so far ;3;

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so much fun :D

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what in sweet hell are you two idiots even talking about

I have an inquiry.
Would you munch on Quill's penis?

would i WHAT

i retract my first question ok

you are regretting nothing u love me

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uh huh

rocketsmodernlife - 2014-10-01 21:32 (UTC) - Expand

don't try to deny it

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this whole conversation all of these conversations

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yessss

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sometimes i can't tell how to write his dialect

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OH MY FCKJNGN GOD

DRAX STOP JESUS CHEISBFR

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hyperliteral - 2014-10-01 21:23 (UTC) - Expand

What the FUCK rocket??????

You told him to rub my BUTT???!!!!!!!?!?

you really think what i told him and what he told you i told him are the same thing

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i did have 'cancer can be funny' typed in and then i realised and couldn't do it

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fffffff hahaha that would've been terrible

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yeah i just '...8|' when i noticed

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Rocket narrowly avoids getting kicked out of the Guardians 2k14

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WHOOPS

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